Angel Sighting 0 - My First Public Performance Art
Conversations with strangers about human flight
The Seed is Planted
Now that I’m on the immortalist path, I’ve shifted away from calling it my “bucket list” in favor of calling it my “Living List” (because I, for one, do not intend to kick any buckets in this lifetime).
So on my Living List, there has been one particular thing I’ve wanted to do but couldn’t seem to bring myself to just DO, and that is: PUBLIC PERFORMANCE ART.
My love affair with performance art began in high school, when a friend and his mom took me to Marina Abramovic’s retrospective at the MoMA, where she performed her famous piece, “The Artist is Present.” From the moment the museum opened to the moment it closed, she sat at one end of a table and stared into the eyes of whoever sat across from her. She did this everyday for months.
If you want to know what kind of impact she had, look no further than MarinaAbramovicMadeMeCry.tumblr.com.
When I was there, watching it in person, I didn’t consciously understand what I was seeing or why it moved me so much. But it was enough that I went on to read her memoir, Walk Through Walls. Within its pages, I found a kindred spirit — a woman sincerely seeking God, who experiments with fasting, altered states of consciousness, meditation, psionic abilities, and of course, Art — all in one!
And though it’s possible (if the ghastly allegations are true) that she has since strayed from her path, I still appreciate her as the person who showed me that Art can be so much more than traditional music, or dance, or painting. Art can be your presence. Breath. Eye contact.
Turn Your Life Into Art
So the seed had been planted, and I knew I wanted to perform… but what?! I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t want to force anything just for the sake of performing.
Then I read Turn Your Life Into Art by Caveat Magister, and it blew my mind. It made me want to quit my job and run away to the desert to be a living archetype forever!!
Some key points from Turn Your Life Into Art:
Everyone is seeking a transformative experience. This is the real reason people go out with friends instead of hanging out at home — they’re subconsciously hoping something will “happen.”
If you want to be the Artist who facilitates such “happenings,” understand that you are dealing with psychic forces that are ancient and archetypal. To be a performance artist is High Magick. Your role is not to play a contrived character as if reading off a script, but to tap-into and direct subtle energies in a way that brings Truth to Light. (This is why corporate immersive art events tend to fail at making anyone “feel” anything. The soul, the sensitivity to archetypal forces, is missing.)
^ To further that point, you can (and likely will) change people’s lives by doing performance art. Do not take this responsibility lightly.
Spontaneity is Chaos, and Chaos is the language of God. Be in the moment. Be present. Disrupt patterns. Subvert rules. Be unexpected. And in that space of artful Chaos, whatever happens, happens.
While reading this book, I received the vision for what I wanted to perform:
an angel, in all grey
seated in the public square
inviting and inciting conversations about how humans can fly
I decided I’d do it next time I visited New York, which is now :)
Besides Mickey, I didn’t tell any other friends what I was up to, because I didn’t want anyone I knew coming by to “hang out.” I genuinely wanted to speak to strangers. I also wanted to experience the concept of “Either you were there or it didn’t happen” which is central to many live performance artworks.
So over the weekend, I worked on the costume:
I’ve gotta brag for a second: If there’s one thing I’m proud of, it’s my ability to take random odds-and-ends and thrifted clothes, and turn them into low-budget costumes, like I did for both my music videos.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way! No money is no excuse!
So with little more than 2 wire hangers, a thrifted bridesmaid dress, and some ribbons, I got to work.
As it always happens, my original vision for the Grey Angel wings (fabric draped between the arches) ended up not working out… but instead, something even better emerged: spiraled wings! What better subconscious message about Free Energy, than wings made out of a limitless shape?!
All throughout the preparation process, I prayed and prayed for God to take control of the performance — to speak Truth through me and touch people’s hearts. What was originally a vision born from angst (“How come nobody wants to talk about levitating monks with me?!!?!?”) became a sincere desire to speak power into strangers in the park.
On the morning of, I wrote up some instructions for myself, made a sign, got dressed, and went to Washington Square Park with Mickey.
All the while, I maintained a prayerful state, further and further surrendering to God’s will. Thank you, God. I trust you, God.
If no one is around to talk to, talk to God.
Cleanse between conversations; meet each person anew, as they deserve; let people surprise you.
Speak power and possibilities into The People.
If exposing hidden psychological patterns and dramas, do so playfully and lovingly. Be patient. You were sleeping once, and it is only by God’s grace that you have awakened.
Attempt to lead no one; rather, encourage them to lead themselves to Truth.
Be not afraid.
Entering The Zero Point
The funniest part of this whole experience was that my expectations were subverted probably as much as anyone else’s. 😂
I don’t know why on Earth I thought Washington Square Park would be mellow on a Tuesday morning (maybe I assumed people would be at work or school, so the park would be at least half-empty).
But when we got there around 11AM, there was already a drummer filling the air with noise; almost every bench was taken; and the only available seats were in direct sunlight… and it was 82°F (28°C).
Well, I trusted God! So we found a place for me to sit with my “HUMANS CAN FLY! Let’s talk about it” sign, Mickey left to do his own thing, and now I was by myself.
Within one minute, the first person sat down with me. He was a young man who, at first, was skeptical and bordered on argumentative. But soon enough, we were having a very relaxed philosophical conversation about personal evolution. His entire demeanor softened, and he said some very profound things that I needed to hear. So right away, whatever pompous attitude I had about how I was there to “enlighten” The People was shattered. I was there to learn from them.
One thing we talked about was the idea that if you trust God as your Source, your needs will be met. Don’t worry about where food or money will come from. God provides.
Thank you, God. I trust you, God.
Another 2 girls came by to chat briefly, clearly in a rush. In between every person, I stared gently at passerby, praying for each one I saw. God, bless this person; God, bless that person.
Then Mickey returned from his errands and let me know that, unfortunately, he caught a weird guy taking creepshots of my behind. Somehow, I didn’t even sense the guy there behind me. I was truly so immersed in prayer. Thankfully Mickey was there right on time to chase him away!
I am reminded of all the horror stories of female performance artists being violated during performances — like Yoko Ono’s clothing getting cut up during Cut Piece, Marina Abramovic being physically threatened during Rhythm 0, and Amanda Palmer being sexually assaulted while inviting fans to write on her (as described in her memoir The Art of Asking).
Sometimes, when you put your body into the public as a “work of art,” it further solidifies some people’s perception of you as an “object,” and they let you down. Sigh.
Pro-vision
But it was all up from there!
Mickey got me a bottle of water before heading off again. Here, I should mention that I’d been fasting since 5pm the previous day. I hadn’t eaten or drunk anything in the morning, because I wanted no chance of having to get up to use the public restroom.
I wasn’t hungry or thirsty, though. And even though the sun was right overhead and other people were seeking shade or fanning themselves, as long as I maintained a prayerful state (Thank you, God; I trust you, God), the sun felt fine.
Every time the though of “being too hot” crept into my mind, I swear, a breeze kicked up at exactly that moment to relieve me. God certainly was providing for me!
So it’s no surprise that the next person who came up to me was a videographer named Jake who was looking to film someone’s honest reaction to a burger from a local restaurant. He asked if I would like to eat the burger on camera and be interviewed about it.
“Sure! The only thing is, I’m a vegetarian.”
“It’s a vegan burger!”
“For real?”
“For real!”
As if instant friends, he set up his camera, pulled out two burgers from his bag (wrapped in paper that said “0% MEAT, 100% DELICIOUS”), and we each took a HUGE bite. Dear God, this thing tasted amazing.
In the post-bite interview, he asked me to give him my “spiritual perspective” on the burger.
And I said, “Well, I was just talking to another guy about how if you trust God and stop worrying about where food will come from, it will be provided. And here you are a few minutes later, giving me a free burger!”
“No way!” Jake’s mind was blown.
Peace Be With You
A few more people came by to chat, to varying degrees of depth. I’d always ask, “What inspired you to talk with me?” and then, “What does the phrase ‘humans can fly’ mean to you?”
As if uncertain of how to jump into a spiritual conversation with a stranger, almost everyone resorted to the standard generic conversation-starters (“What’s your name? Where are you from?”) which I answered honestly. Though initially I thought I’d answer “in character” if anyone asked such things, I ultimately decided to just Tell the Truth. My name is Alicen. I’m Indo-Trinidadian and Puerto Rican. No, I haven’t flown yet, but some future version of me has. I’d give it a few more decades.
One thing that a few people seemed sincerely confused by, was that they couldn’t figure out “why” I was doing this.
“Are you taking donations?”
“Nope!”
“Are you advertising something?”
“Also nope!”
“So why are you doing this?”
“I just want people to know they’re free, that’s all.”
As the day went on, and the sun got more intense, I continued praying to God for strength and endurance.
And finally, two lovely women carrying bouquets rushed over. I asked what drew them to me, and one said, “You are the picture of peace!!!”
She said that unlike other people in the park who seemed to be suffering in the heat, or were staring at their phones, I looked profoundly peaceful while looking around at people.
“And you’re literally sparkling in the sun!” she said. “We had to come over!”
“I do feel peaceful!” I marveled with her. “I want everyone to feel this!”
“That is God’s work,” she said. “Keep doing it.”
I asked them what “freedom” looked like to them. One lady closed her eyes and began describing a beautiful scene where she was reclining by a body of water, surrounded by flowers, hearing birds chirping nearby. She described it so vividly that it felt like we were all there.
I asked her if this was a specific place she had in mind. She said no, she’d never seen it before and didn’t know where it was.
So I said: “You’ll be there very soon. God will show you the way.” And I knew in my soul that this was true.
“Yes, I believe you. I trust you,” she said.
Now seemed like the appropriate time to ask her why they both had bouquets of flowers in their hands, whereupon they explained that some random lady in the park gave them flowers for free!
“See?” I said. “You’re already on your way to the land of flowers!”
“Yes! It’s a sign!” she realized.
When they left, they looked like they now believed anything is possible.
And it is!
I have plenty of thoughts about this performance, and semi-cynical commentaries about how more people took photos of me than sat down and talked with me. But you know what? I trust that God has a plan even for that.
Though most performers do this, I chose not to display my instagram handle on my sign, because the performance was not meant to be an advertisement. And in fact, every trace of an “agenda” I had from the outset was obliterated by the end of the day.
Turns out, the real work of Art was not me convincing anyone to fly — but me learning how to sit still and know that God is God.
To bear intense sunlight with grace and ease.
To make food appear out of nowhere.
Anyone who took a photo of me today, now has physical evidence of the peace that surpasses understanding. If they post those photos anywhere, may everyone who sees the photos be blessed with the same peace.
Philippians 4:5-7
5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
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