The Mother Wound: Why Dark Mothers Bloodsuck Their Daughters
On Narcissistic Mothers as Spiritual Vampires
When I finalized the tracklist for my new album, UGLY, I included 2 songs inspired by the “Trinity Wounds.”
The Trinity Wounds, if you aren’t familiar, are the 3 wounds all women are said to carry in our genetic memory, subconsciously sabotaging our relationships with each other.
The first wound is the Witch Wound. This is the fear that all women have of our own feminine radiance and oracular power.
It is said that this wound began during the “Burning Times,” when women were burned at the stake for being witches — too powerful, too knowledgeable, and therefore too threatening to the religious establishment. The trauma of being killed for simply being oneself is painful enough, but even moreso when you consider that they were turned over to the witch-killers by their own trusted female friends.
Which leads me to the second wound: the Sister Wound. This is the source of the stereotypical jealousy and covert competition between women, hallmarked by gossip, two-facedness, manipulation, and “catfighting” behavior; it’s the distrust and fear of emotional intimacy that results in subconscious sabotage, destroying what would otherwise be genuine sisterly bonds.
And then… there’s the Mother Wound.
Some would say this is the worst wound of all.
As I discussed in In The Deep, this album was an inspired work, transmitted to me from the deep-sea queendom of the Anglerfish herself.
When I noticed that only 2 of these Trinity Wounds had been cathartically expressed in my music, I asked my Muse, the Anglerfish: Should I write a song about the Mother Wound?
Her answer came in the form of a deep and foreboding knowing in my gut:
No need.
The Mother Wound will be addressed after you release the album.
Ominous.
Sure enough, when my album came out, my mother (vampire that she is) found a creepy way to twist this accomplishment against me like a power game (as she does).
Daughters of narcissistic mothers know exactly what I mean.
It’s your birthday party, but it’s somehow spent celebrating her.
It’s your generous and heartfelt Christmas gift to her, somehow twisted into a guilt-laden demand for more.
It’s your very existence, condemned with a cold sneer and perpetually withdrawn love.
It’s the endless game of changing identities in the hopes that you’ll one day become someone she cares for;
it’s the false promise of love dangled like a carrot before a skeletal horse, worn thin from running towards love all its life;
and it is the horrifying black hole of her endless demands — more, more, more, more! — because she is never satisfied.
The Narcissistic Mother is a cosmic succubus, sucking the absolute life out of the innocent girl she initially gave life to.
Daughters see a dark side of their Mothers that no one else will ever see; not even the Mother’s husband or sons will ever feel the sinister, ruthless bloodthirst of the Vampiric Mother, the way the Daughter does.
Last night, heartbroken by this latest power struggle in a lifelong line of such struggles with my Mother, I asked God, Why?
Why is she like this?
Why, on a soul level?
Why, against me specifically?
What is the Mother Wound?
This is the answer I received:
The Birth of the Mother
For the sake of simplifying my argument, let’s put it this way:
Women receive. Women are receptive.
Unlike men, whose Yang energy moves outward and forward, penetrating and filling space (and this energetic predisposition is made manifest as their phallus), a woman’s Yin energy moves inward, absorbing and magnetizing; this energetic predisposition is made physically manifest as her yoni, the “hole” into which the man’s phallus visually disappears.
For her to be a Receiver, there must be a Giver.
In her maiden phase, a woman engages in the Yin arts of charm and magnetism to attract her Yang male partner, who then “gives” his seed to her. The alchemy of their sexual union produces a child — and this is her initiation into Motherhood.
Motherhood is the stage of life whereupon a woman shifts from being primarily Yin, to being both Yin and Yang.
When a woman gives birth to a child, she is also reborn as a Mother — a being capable of embodying paradox; both Yin and Yang simultaneously.
Once a woman is with child, who is Yin in relation to her, her spiritual and biological capacity to be a Giver/Yang is activated, and this ability is physically manifested as her breasts, which are (not accidentally) phallic in form, penetrating space and projecting “milk,” just as the male organ does.
She then Gives this milk to her baby, who is the Receiver to her.
In fact, Nature’s perfect order — God’s genius design — intends for Mothers to become Givers for their children while remaining Receivers to their husbands. This energetic androgyny is what makes the Motherhood Mysteries sacred across the world. Through her body, she bridges worlds; she brings souls into incarnation; she links Heaven with Earth; she merges Yin with Yang.
So when a Mother refuses to occupy the Giving role for her children,
and instead demands that they give to her,
something has gone terribly wrong.
We live in a Fallen World.
Because of this, few of us have ever experienced the higher octave of the True Mother, who fluidly transmutes that which her male consort Gives her, into something their children can Receive.
Instead, we've experienced the destructive, cold, demonic bloodthirst of magnetism gone malignant.
When a woman becomes accustomed to getting what she wants by perverting and abusing her Yin power — when she manipulates instead of magnetizing, and seduces instead of speaking Truth — her vanity and greed quite literally tears a hole in spacetime.
She becomes a Dark Mother — a black hole incarnate.
The Dark Mother consumes energy but does not “digest” it, leading to a Hungry Ghost-tier hunger that is never satisfied, no matter how much is Given to her.
Unlike the True Mother, a master alchemist who transmutes and nourishes seed into new life,
the Dark Mother uncreates.
The Dark Mother vampirizes and kills.
By this inversion, the Narcissistic/Dark Mother turns her husband — who should, according to God’s design, be the Giver — into a metaphorical baby, incapable of providing,
and turns her actual baby into the Giver
— a fresh source of Life for her to feed on,
just as a vampire prefers young blood.
Her malignant magnetism is a total inversion and perversion of Life itself, in that it reverses the roles of Parent and Child.
Because the Dark Mother can only “succeed” by absolute inversion, the psychological and spiritual damage resulting from this dynamic causes a blinding distortion in the soul that can take a lifetime to see clearly.
Since most people are not willing to commit a lifetime to healing, they instead unconsciously pass this unhealed Wound onto their kids
who pass it onto their kids
on and on
generation to generation
like an inherited disease of consciousness.
This is the Mother Wound.
My Daughter, My Enemy
From the moment her Daughter is born, the Dark Mother feels threatened — because now, here is a being who is automatically more Yin than her, and therefore more Receptive.
The Dark Mother, in her woeful scarcity mindset, subconsciously thinks to herself: There can’t be two Receivers in this house!
(This is especially true when the Husband/Father has failed to energetically provide/Give to the Mother, indicating that there is indeed a scarcity of energy to be Received. Narcissistic Mothers often have impotent, passive Doormat Husbands, or even Absent Husbands.)
Thus, jealousy compels the Dark Mother to utterly destroy her Daughter’s ability to Receive altogether.
This destructive tendency becomes most obvious at puberty, when the Daughter begins to Individuate and thus naturally begins to exude her intrinsic sexual essence in how she carries and expresses herself through clothing, hobbies and mannerisms.
When faced with the threat of her Daughter growing up into an autonomous person (and thereby removing herself as an energetic food source), the Narcissistic/Dark Mother specifically attacks everything that makes the Daughter Who She Is as Her Own Person.
The Dark Mother attacks her daughter’s appearance, style, and self-esteem;
The Dark Mother attacks her daughter’s talents, interests and hobbies;
The Dark Mother attacks anything that makes the Daughter feel like her True Self, which is precisely what would make her attractive to her God-ordained soulmate and consort, as our divine consorts love us for Who We Are.
The Daughter of the Dark Mother is turned inside-out and fractured, pitted against herself by the Dark Mother’s subtle but unrelenting manipulations and covert psychological attacks.
Pain in Receiving
The Dark Mother is jealous and competitive, because she lives in scarcity.
Scarcity is a condition made possible only within the Serpent’s Circuit, or Limit-Based Reality, where there is only a finite amount of energy in existence, which leads to the erroneous belief that “for me to get what I want, I have to take it from someone else.”
Even if that “someone else” is her own Daughter.
And The Dark Mother will be DAMNED if she ever has to GIVE to anyone. If the Dark Mother ever does find herself obligated to "give," she will do so in a way that poisons and punishes the recipient, to make them associate Receiving with pain and humiliation.
For example: When a Narcissistic Mother cooks for her children, she'll think and speak poison into the food as she cooks, resenting the entire process… and then she’ll guilt-trip the daughter for not wanting to Receive this energetically poisoned "gift" (à la, "I slaved away in the kitchen for you! You'd better eat it!")
For another example: When a Narcissistic Mother “gives” a “gift” (for a birthday or holiday, especially), she “gives” in a way that instills deep guilt and shame into the recipient.
This sustained psychic injury compels her recipient to turn off their ability to Receive gifts at all.
Thus, her inverted version of “Giving” ensures that the Vampiric Mother remains the only Yin being in the household who Receives what she wants while everyone else starves — and by this, the Dark Mother “wins” her sick Yin competition with her Daughter.
Or so it seems.
The Dark Mother is suffering from the worst kind of delusion, and that is
the belief that there is not enough.
In her refusal to see the glorious infinite abundance of our Reality — in her failure to perceive the endless generosity of God our Creator, who can satisfy all needs and desires — the Dark Mother commits herself to a miserable life of being ruthlessly hungry but never able to Truly Receive what she desires, because she doesn’t even believe that what she wants, exists.
This is a not-so-obvious symbolic layer of why Vampires drink blood:
They drink blood because Pain is all they can Receive.
Thus, the Dark Mother, through her commitment to inciting misery and then vampirizing that misery, demonstrates to her Daughter that it is painful to Receive.
This bloodthirst for pain and suffering also alludes to the fact that the Dark Mother, herself, has been poisoned against her own Receptivity by her mother,
and her mother before her,
and her mother before her,
like a generational curse of feminine self-destruction.
But the wonderful thing about curses is:
they can be broken.
The Daughter’s Holy Birthright
The key, for the blood-drained Daughter,
is to stop Giving to her mother
and learn how to Receive for real.
This will require her to stand up against years and years of programming and manipulation. The guilt about Receiving (and the guilt to keep Giving), planted deeply in her womb by her own Mother, is gut-wrenching to confront…
…but that's all it is: guilt.
Not a real, material threat,
but an illusion.
The only weapon the vampire ever had, was imaginary all along.
Rooted in Truth, the Daughter gnos that she is not, and never has been, obligated to drain herself for anyone else’s gain.
It is, and always was, the Mother who should be Giving.
The daughter must real-ize the fact that her BIRTHRIGHT is to RECEIVE,
and it is a grotesque, unholy, evil perversion and inversion for a Mother to feed from her Daughter.
Part of this healing requires the Daughter to unlearn the falsehood that Receptivity — her spiritual and biological predisposition, as perfectly designed by God — is painful and vampiric, and that she’s evil for Receiving.
Because Mothers are our first role model of how to be women, how to be feminine, and how to be Yin, unlearning this first (false) blueprint of Receptivity can feel daunting. It’s like starting from Absolute Zero.
But Truth is accessible by anyone at any time and place, because such is the all-pervading nature of God: the ultimate masculine-feminine and original True Father/Mother, Parent of All.
With God all around, within us wherever we go, learning how to be correctly polarized is as simple as asking God to energetically complement us.
In my own journey, I have been playing with the practice of allowing God to fill the masculine/Giver role in my life by asking for what I want, knowing I will receive it… and then Receiving His masculine provision in Pure Pleasure.
Matthew 7:7-11 - “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
I have begun to embrace my own marvelous, luscious, deep feminine Receptivity.
I let God lead me, and pursue me, and adore me, and fill me with more and more of what I ask for.
I revel in the certainty that ours is an abundant Universe, where there is enough for everyone. More than enough.
Our cups overfloweth, with the waters of Life.
Breaking the Curse
I have also, of course, been setting boundaries with my Mother.
I no longer react with an emotional charge when she plays her predictable power games.
I have gotten very good at noticing when I’m doing something for her out of guilt,
and have shifted towards doing things because I want to.
By this, I realized I don’t want to give her my blood anymore,
so I don’t.
As it turns out, when it comes to Vampires,
keeping your blood to yourself, by ending your consensual participation in their sickly power games
— and thereby “starving them” (or, rather: presenting them with a pattern-breaking opportunity
to find fulfillment in another way) —
is the greatest gift you can Give them after all.
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Thank you, lovelings. ♥
A tragic topic, brilliantly reframed within the scope of the divine plan. Thank you. 🙏
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