Let me tell you why I was moved to tears yesterday.
It started last week.
Well, really, it started years ago. We’re talking the MySpace era.
I had a MySpace friend named Heather. One time, I posted a video of myself singing this silly little song, and Heather fell in love with it.
We’ve somehow managed to stay connected after MySpace fell and we moved to Facebook. Every now and again, she’d remind me of how much she loved my version of the Bunnies song, and I always said I’d sing it again for her one day.
Truthfully, I didn’t have an exact date in mind for when I’d sing this song for her. It was just one of those things that hung out in the back of my mind, popping into my head on occasion like, “Oh yeah, I should probably get around to that.”
Years went by.
Then last week, while out shopping, I saw a bunch of Easter-related objects for sale. Upon seeing all the Easter bunnies lining the shelves, I felt a surge of inspiration and decided, “I am going to sing the Bunnies song for Heather!”
So I finally got my shit together. In a few hours, I produced the song on Logic, put on my handmade rabbit ears, and filmed myself singing it. It felt a little corny, but I silenced my inner critic in the name of keeping my promise to Heather.
At last, I posted the song… and waited.
Listen, I’m not going to lie to you. As much as I love making music (and would make it even if nobody was listening), I still feel a “twinge of cringe” whenever I post something and it doesn’t get many views within the first few hours.
Partly because social media can feel over-exposing (failing is hard enough, but failing in front of people? THE HORROR), and partly because of how much freaking effort it takes to put a song together — even a 30-second song like this one.
So I was sitting around moping a little bit, wondering if I was wasting my time with my musical ambitions… when Heather messaged me.
She was crying.
A close family member had passed away earlier that day.
And this long-awaited Bunnies song, she said, was like a warm ray of sunshine on an otherwise unbearably sad day.
Of all the times I could’ve covered that song for her over the years…
…I happened to receive the inspiration and motivation to get it done…
…just in time for the song to alleviate some of her grief about a tragic death in the family.
Obviously, neither of us had any way of knowing she would suffer a loss a few hours before I posted the song. And I can’t explain why I suddenly felt compelled to post the song that day. In fact, I had already finished the video the previous evening, so I could’ve posted it immediately, but I decided to wait until morning — just on a whim.
They say God works in mysterious ways.
It was one of those slap-in-the-face moments, where I was confronted with just how self-centered I am capable of being. There I was, fretting over vanity metrics and view counts, and completely forgetting the value of the song that can’t be quantified in social media tallies.
Plus, what sense would it make to count views, when the music “I” make isn’t even “mine”? It is orchestrated by God. I merely play the role of messenger. All credit for the Art goes to the true Creator.
So, Dear Creator God, please help me to remember this moment on the days when I think “nobody” hears me or cares about the music “I” make.
But wait! There’s more!
I have a wonderful online friend (I’ll call her Shai) who I’ve exchanged hours and hours of voice memos with. She’s one of the sweetest human beings I’ve ever had the honor of “meeting,” and I cherish our mystical conversations.
Well, around November last year, we exchanged emails… and then some time passed.
I emailed Shai again around the New Year to send blessings… but again, no response.
Now with April around the corner, I was getting worried. Shai was usually so responsive. Why hadn’t she answered for months? Had something bad happened???
So I reached out again to tell her I was thinking of her, and asked if everything was okay.
Never in a thousand years would I have guessed what her response would be!
She messaged back to say she was okay — but she had needed time off from social media because she found her birth family!!!
Shai had never been told why her biological mother disappeared from her life. Years prior, she had searched for her mother, or for answers… but when her searched kept turning up empty, she gave up.
Then by stroke of luck, Shai met a resourceful friend who found her mom — and a brother she didn’t know she had!!!
She had been so busy joyfully catching up with her long-last mother, brother, and cousins, that she could barely process what was happening. Hence her radio silence.
I was so happy for Shai, celebrating this life-changing reunion with her. She continued sharing details of the whole experience…
and then suddenly she said something that I was not expecting at all:
She showed my song to her brother.
Shai had once told me that my song “The Madness of the Saints” is her favorite song in existence (which is already an indescribable honor that I can’t wrap my mind around).
So I knew the song was special to her. But special enough that she’d share it with her long-lost biological brother as they rapidly caught up on getting to know each other???!
I can’t even fathom what it’s like to find out about a sibling later in life, but I know that any time I’m excited about someone new in my life, I show them all my favorite things.
As if to say, “Here is this work of art that represents my interests, ambitions and feelings. Here is a peek into my inner world. Here is something that, I hope, will help you understand Who I Am.”
And that’s what “my” song did, in that moment.
It created a bridge between the worlds of two previously separated siblings.
It gave them something to muse about together.
It said “I Want You to Know Who I Am.”
That did it for me.
Between this and what happened with Heather, I didn’t know what to do,
except put the phone down,
curl up on the floor,
and weep.
Ultimately I can’t speak for Shai about what my song means to her,
but I can tell you what it meant to me, that she shared it with her brother.
It meant that my life, my actions, my interests… my existence itself… matters in ways that I can’t always see or imagine.
It meant that the mysterious impulse I have to make music — even when I’m sleepy, or irritable, or plagued with doubts — serves a greater purpose.
It meant that I can trust the Source of this inspiration: God. When nothing else makes sense, I know that I myself am a work of Art, created by God, for a purpose.
We all are.
Psalm 139:14 NIV
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
If you’re an Artist, I hope these two stories remind you why you answered The Call in the first place.
Worldly achievements, while practical, are not The Reason we do what we do.
On the grander scale — from God’s vantage point — Artists serve a sacred purpose.
God works through Artists to deliver timely messages of comfort, inspiration, and Truth — in precisely the style that most highly resonates with the people who most need the message.
Due to God’s infinite and unfathomable genius, no divinely-inspired work of Art can ever be a waste of time, loss, or mistake.
From our point of view, we think we’re alone, doing it all by ourselves.
But from God’s point of view, we are spiritually connected in ways that defy the parameters of “time” and “space.”
So the message will always find its way
from the Artist, to the person who needs it…
…even if that person
I get messages from people that my art inspires them, etc and critical me, not appreciating what I do, don’t fully take it in. But when you hear that you have had impact, that is the biggest reward. I am so glad you wrote this. I am inspired to change my perspective. ❤️
This is beautiful. Yes, thank you for sharing your words and work <3