I live my life by synchronicities.
I have learned to recognize that curious feeling of resonance between seemingly unrelated things… and then follow it.
So when the book “NONBINARY” by Genesis P-Orridge came into my life,
just as I was reviewing my finances and realizing (with sadness) that I would not be able to afford a professional music video for my album, UGLY…
…I knew it wasn’t just a “coincidence.”
Genesis P-Orridge, you see, was an icon in music history. He’s been called “punk rock royalty” and “the grandfather of industrial music.” His icon status was only made possible by his worshipful devotion to Art. He lived in squats, dumpster-dived for food, and subsisted on government benefits, all so he could avoid the 9-to-5 life by any means necessary and make art all-day-every-day.
He never had money. But that didn’t stop him. If anything, being penniless propelled him to get even more creative and figure out how to make Art with as few resources as possible. No excuses.
So, feeling emboldened by Genesis’s example, I made a costume*, set up a black backdrop, mounted my camera, and sang my song Pleroma. Then I took the grainy footage, broke out my basic video editing software, and figured it the fuck out.
This is the result:
Are there flaws in it? Yeah.
But am I proud of it anyway? FUCK yeah!!!
It’s all yours now. Enjoy 😘
But wait! There’s more!
If you email me a list of all 7 subliminal questions hidden in the video, will be sent a free copy of “ON UGLYNESS and THE SECRETS OF THE ANGLERFISH,” the album’s companion e-book.
To be clear, I’m not referring to the questions in the lyrics. The questions will be visual, on the screen. So when you’re watching the video, keep all 3 of your eyes open 😉
My email: alicen[@]whenhumanshadwings[.]com
* And speaking of the costume:
Life is funny.
I never could've imagined that a stupid little minimum-wage costume shop job in my college theater department 12 years ago, would equip me with the skills to one day bring my Art to life multidimensionally. Not just making the music, but also the costumes.
I remember, in my tweenage years, reading an interview of Kerli where she said she makes her own costumes for her music videos. I thought, "I wish I could do that."
Now, I can.
Creativity is no longer some elusive, mysterious force beyond my grasp. Now, it's an all-pervading presence, constantly, fluidly, generously bringing visions from my imagination into a tangible form.
A form that I get to share with YOU.
It took deeeep, deep healing to become this expressive, and it is my hope that what I share inspires you on your own healing path.
I was most inspired by the video below. I used this video to guide my design choices, resulting in a dress that is simultaneously bold but coy, sensual but sinister.
I spliced together 2 thrift shop dresses, embellished them with chains and wires, and of course, sewed a tiny fish pendant into the stomach to represent the male anglerfish, who dissolves his head into the female.
All hand-sewn. No pattern. Just figured it out as I went along.
For the crown: a toy diamond ring with a tiny light stuck inside, braided together with wires, ribbons, and crystal beads.
It was hard work,
but it's my heArtwork,
so 🩷
My album UGLY comes out on Friday, November 3rd.
If you pre-order or purchase the album on Bandcamp will get 2 special gifts:
“ON UGLYNESS and THE SECRETS OF THE ANGLERFISH,” a 2-in-1 e-book written as a companion to the album,
andThe Ones That Didn’t Make It — an 8-track album of b-sides from UGLY
This is how I say “thank you” for supporting my heArtwork 🙏🏽
Congratulations on the song and the video. I admire your obvious can-do approach. The video was great. Good for you. And the outfit is all the more impressive since you made it.
Necessity is the mother of invention right enough.
"His icon status was only made possible by his worshipful devotion to Art. He lived in squats, dumpster-dived for food, and subsisted on government benefits, all so he could avoid the 9-to-5 life by any means necessary and make art all-day-every-day." ... It seems to me that someone who is truly opposing the Machine cannot simultaneously benefit from it (as, e.g., a financially successful anti-System artist, or as a "critical" intellectual -- as I once hilariously aspired to be), but saying so apparently exposes my commitment to poverty consciousness.... I've thought about it, and tried to open myself to "abundance mindset" -- and I think I have succeeded in many ways, for abundance truly appears in so many forms, not only the monetary -- but still, I can't help but think that the moment an artist becomes financially successful is the moment their art is betrayed/destroyed... Whatever the case, your Art -- but which I mean not only this incredible music video, but the entirety of your being in the world and especially your expression -- is True, and speaks right to my heart. Thank you.