As long as something good comes out of the OCD, it might not be so bad then huh?
Going through enlightenment and after that dark night of soul is very strange. Very fucked up actually.
Still if you had channeling experience, with a vortex that went up and over the horizon, with OBE, then spoke to a dead woman through time warp cubes for 15mins. Then you find that person many years latter, they refuse to speak to you. How would that make you feel?
Either way I've one or two substacks to write. Then one more big magic 🪄 ✨. My main mission will be done. I've quite a few choices to make. No one I really want to talk about it cause very few people understand. Except for one person.
Astonishing. You are the embodied meaning of the goddess who cuts off her own head, thereby nourishing the spirit! I had to look it up. Jungian work, no?
From the Wikipedia entry on the Tibetan Buddhist version of the goddess:
“for transforming all mundane daily experiences into higher spiritual paths.”
“Vajrayoginī's essence is "great passion" (maharaga), a transcendent passion that is free of selfishness and illusion—she intensely works for the well-being of others and for the destruction of ego clinging. She is seen as being ideally suited for people with strong passions, providing the way to transform those passions into enlightened virtues.[1]”
You are that guide for others who intensely suffer and seek.
Interpretation is tricky. Many great teachers have remarked that to try to hand someone a great gem that they aren’t ready to hear can forestall the insight they need. Because, as seekers, we are preoccupied with incorporating everything into ourselves, as we take the self to be.
Sometimes I think about obsession as being inside an egg that hasn’t yet cracked. Oddly enough, however tormenting, in retrospect, we see the egg functions as a safe-place, until the greater self that transcends you cracks it open. And you see that it was you, all along, now living in a higher consciousness.
We are mysterious beings. The dross of our lives is lead that turns to gold.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Diana ꨄ︎ It was definitely true for me that I "wasn't ready" for Chhinnamasta when first introduced to her, hence the frightening obsession with her literal self-decapitation that ensued. Many Tantric followers of Chhinnamasta warn that her image is NOT for the faint of heart! But I'll share how I ended up interpreting her iconography, for anyone curious about my SymbolSpeak course where I teach "intuitive symbol interpretation" for self-improvement:
Through SymbolSpeak, I came to understand that my brain "got stuck on" Chhinnamasta because of the lore that surrounds her, about how saying her mantra will cause a woman to lose her husband and be damned to a life of widowhood. At the time that I encountered this information, I had just gone through the worst breakup of my life with an abusive man who'd isolated me on the other side of the country from my friends & family, so I felt lonelier than ever before. I hated that I had to rely on myself; I wanted someone to come save me. And I didn't know who I was, because I had lived such a self-deceiving life up to that point.
So it makes sense that my brain chose her as a symbol to hyperfixate on and feel extreme anxiety about, until I stopped being afraid of 2 things: not knowing who I was (because what is the Self, anyway?), and being alone.
Once I confronted her fearsome iconography and wrote transmutative poetry about it, ultimately reclaiming her electric power as MY OWN power, I suddenly stopped obsessing over her. It wasn't her, or the literal act of cutting my own head off, that scared me. It was what it MEANT, in the context of my life through which I encountered the symbol.
And funny you should mention eggs. I recently heard a teacher explain that the only way a baby bird can get out of the egg is to throw their whole face directly at the shell, over and over, until they break through to the Great Big Unknown. It takes a real fearlessness, and directness, to come out of that shell. That is exactly what is asked of us when faced with some sort of fear or phobia. We must face it, directly, and throw ourselves into the unknown.
As long as something good comes out of the OCD, it might not be so bad then huh?
Going through enlightenment and after that dark night of soul is very strange. Very fucked up actually.
Still if you had channeling experience, with a vortex that went up and over the horizon, with OBE, then spoke to a dead woman through time warp cubes for 15mins. Then you find that person many years latter, they refuse to speak to you. How would that make you feel?
Either way I've one or two substacks to write. Then one more big magic 🪄 ✨. My main mission will be done. I've quite a few choices to make. No one I really want to talk about it cause very few people understand. Except for one person.
C'EST LA VIE
Though I may not understand, I am glad we crossed paths here and I wish you well on your journey ✨️
Goddamn 🔥🙌🤯🙏❤️
Subed because Benjamin over at Mysterious Universe mentioned you in a recent episode. SO glad, because I think I needed to find you. Thank you.
So glad you're here ꨄ︎
Astonishing. You are the embodied meaning of the goddess who cuts off her own head, thereby nourishing the spirit! I had to look it up. Jungian work, no?
From the Wikipedia entry on the Tibetan Buddhist version of the goddess:
“for transforming all mundane daily experiences into higher spiritual paths.”
“Vajrayoginī's essence is "great passion" (maharaga), a transcendent passion that is free of selfishness and illusion—she intensely works for the well-being of others and for the destruction of ego clinging. She is seen as being ideally suited for people with strong passions, providing the way to transform those passions into enlightened virtues.[1]”
You are that guide for others who intensely suffer and seek.
Interpretation is tricky. Many great teachers have remarked that to try to hand someone a great gem that they aren’t ready to hear can forestall the insight they need. Because, as seekers, we are preoccupied with incorporating everything into ourselves, as we take the self to be.
Sometimes I think about obsession as being inside an egg that hasn’t yet cracked. Oddly enough, however tormenting, in retrospect, we see the egg functions as a safe-place, until the greater self that transcends you cracks it open. And you see that it was you, all along, now living in a higher consciousness.
We are mysterious beings. The dross of our lives is lead that turns to gold.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Diana ꨄ︎ It was definitely true for me that I "wasn't ready" for Chhinnamasta when first introduced to her, hence the frightening obsession with her literal self-decapitation that ensued. Many Tantric followers of Chhinnamasta warn that her image is NOT for the faint of heart! But I'll share how I ended up interpreting her iconography, for anyone curious about my SymbolSpeak course where I teach "intuitive symbol interpretation" for self-improvement:
Through SymbolSpeak, I came to understand that my brain "got stuck on" Chhinnamasta because of the lore that surrounds her, about how saying her mantra will cause a woman to lose her husband and be damned to a life of widowhood. At the time that I encountered this information, I had just gone through the worst breakup of my life with an abusive man who'd isolated me on the other side of the country from my friends & family, so I felt lonelier than ever before. I hated that I had to rely on myself; I wanted someone to come save me. And I didn't know who I was, because I had lived such a self-deceiving life up to that point.
So it makes sense that my brain chose her as a symbol to hyperfixate on and feel extreme anxiety about, until I stopped being afraid of 2 things: not knowing who I was (because what is the Self, anyway?), and being alone.
Once I confronted her fearsome iconography and wrote transmutative poetry about it, ultimately reclaiming her electric power as MY OWN power, I suddenly stopped obsessing over her. It wasn't her, or the literal act of cutting my own head off, that scared me. It was what it MEANT, in the context of my life through which I encountered the symbol.
And funny you should mention eggs. I recently heard a teacher explain that the only way a baby bird can get out of the egg is to throw their whole face directly at the shell, over and over, until they break through to the Great Big Unknown. It takes a real fearlessness, and directness, to come out of that shell. That is exactly what is asked of us when faced with some sort of fear or phobia. We must face it, directly, and throw ourselves into the unknown.
Lead into gold indeed.
P.S. this is the Chhinnamasta poetry book I wrote: https://www.amazon.com/I-AM-THUNDERBOLT-Alicen-Grey/dp/B08YHZVN88
I witness your amazing journey with admiration and learn from it with gratitude. ✨