Great read. Happy Birthday. I have to confess was given the People Pleasing Virus very young. I'm in recovery, getting closer to being an ex- PP. I've come a long way over time. It's disturbing when I find myself internally knowing my truth and wanting to say it, yet in a split second this contorted niceness, (untruth) like pretty diarrhoea comes forth instead. Thankfully life gives an endless opportunity to practice differently. Like simply saying 'no' which is the biggest no-no for a PP. Often, annoyingly 'no thanks' comes out when really a no will do. I do engage the behavioural no by not answering all or unknown callers, however maybe I will answer the next one just to practice.
Great observations, Alicen. I have observed in myself that I am most susceptible to victim consciousness when and because I find it too difficult and uncomfortable to say no, straightforwardly express my wants and needs, or to set a boundary. Failing to do so, I would therefore tend to fall back on moralizing about how bad, wrong, or unfair the person or circumstance was that necessitated the assertion of a boundary in the first place. In order to break this pattern, I therefore had to sit with the discomfort and expand my nervous system capacity to experience it, so that I could finally own my personal responsibility to directly and forthrightly state my wants and needs without offloading that responsibility to the moral failings of others or the world. (The work is ongoing).
I have talked a lot about this issue with my husband, who is Canadian, and he has a slightly darker explanation of this phenomenon (note that passive aggression and refusal to directly state what you actually want or mean are ways of life in Canada, consequent of the cultural imperative to always appear “good” in the eyes of others). He thinks that people actually take forepleasure in the imposition of norms and morality upon others through what we have come to call the “social concourse.” I agree that is indeed an essential part of how what Nietzsche called “slave morality” functions; however, I just think my insight is more helpful for those on the journey of self-reclamation.
I absolutely love hearing about your healing journey. Thank you for sharing your insights to the benefit of everyone reading here 💓 I can relate to what you're saying about becoming mindful of self-disempowerment in order to develop healthier boundaries. It's a common issue so there's no shame in having it, and conversations like these are how we can all heal together ✨️
I did this once, lasted three weeks. The elderly ladies broke my heart after twenty minutes of a five minute survey- starved for a human voice. I'd have to hang up on them under the impatient scowl of my manager who got paid $10 more than us lowly phone jockeys.
I'm so sorry. I feel you on that. The elderly respondents are usually more enthused about participating, and I CONSTANTLY go against the "verbatim" rule to chat with them. I've been written up a few times, but 🤷🏽♀️
It points to so many Microcosmic conditionings, we've been taught generationally, that self assemble like LNPs, to create the controlled Macrocosm.
Once you teach Pavlov's dogs to salivate to a bell, you can teach them to sniff out bombs or run into a burning building.
We are just the dumber, two legged versions of them.
I personally broke the obligatory mold of answering calls, about 10 years ago. I stopped answering numbers, that weren't saved and tagged with a name. Likewise for door bells and knocks. 9.99 times out of 10, it is soliciting. I will look out the window, incase it's a neighbor, but the ones I care to interact with, will text - so there's that.
Last thoughts, surveys are an archaic carry over and I put little stock in them. They are skewed from the outset, for the reasons you mention. Lets say of the 5K eligible patients you can survey, only 100 stay on the line - that is a horribly inaccurate ratio to base any changes or actions on, as an organization or consumer. I have always thought, why wouldn't you do the survey during the process - periodically - or prior to discharge. Aside from having the patient right there, it would convey a sense that the hospital truly cared about their welfare and opinions. Instead of a third party caller, weeks later, when you have already moved past the episode/experience. Buy in from the patients would be exponentially increased, in situ.
AI will sweep all info/service sectors, that are human labor intensive. That goes for TV, radio, call centers, etc.
We have already seen a large takeover - although it was incrementally and craftily done - self serve kiosks (think malls, airports, government agencies, etc.).
Who wouldn't gleefully use a DMV Kiosk vs long stints of chair surfing and face to face time, with a disgruntled DMV worker??
Of course it's a double edged sword - as AI, will eventually make us all redundant.
Yes absolutely, there are many "microcosmic conditionings" -- the conditioning to have an opinion on EVERY sensational news story, the conditioning to get emotionally invested in EVERY social media post one sees when scrolling, the conditioning to line up for every new vaccine and buy every new gadget and, and, and...
It all culminates in a generalized sense of being pulled at from many directions, easily swayed and perpetually miserable because they're exerting no influence over themselves whatsoever, thus making themselves vulnerable to being marionetted by the entire world.
I so love and appreciate how you can discern a trend that would fly under the radar for most folks and casually transform it into a valuable moment of contemplation. Thank you! 💕
I enjoyed 'this rant' because it's made me feel better about not answering the phone, which I do a lot: eg. if the number shows it's not a number saved, with a name against it, I don't answer it period! If they go on to text me revealing something about themselves which I can identify with I will then choose to reciprocate, or not. You're right; choice is a 'thing' we need to employ more of, thank you and YAH bless <3
Ditto! I never answer a call I do not recognize?! And block any I do not want to hear from. Every day is the Lord’s Day, so God Bless everyone, I’m safeguarding my peace & others’! 🕊️✨🦋
“I’m watching the game!!!”🤣😂(And can you please pass the chips?!) 😆 Love your take on all this, Alicen. What an intriguing glimpse into the public zeitgeist!
Great read. Happy Birthday. I have to confess was given the People Pleasing Virus very young. I'm in recovery, getting closer to being an ex- PP. I've come a long way over time. It's disturbing when I find myself internally knowing my truth and wanting to say it, yet in a split second this contorted niceness, (untruth) like pretty diarrhoea comes forth instead. Thankfully life gives an endless opportunity to practice differently. Like simply saying 'no' which is the biggest no-no for a PP. Often, annoyingly 'no thanks' comes out when really a no will do. I do engage the behavioural no by not answering all or unknown callers, however maybe I will answer the next one just to practice.
Great observations, Alicen. I have observed in myself that I am most susceptible to victim consciousness when and because I find it too difficult and uncomfortable to say no, straightforwardly express my wants and needs, or to set a boundary. Failing to do so, I would therefore tend to fall back on moralizing about how bad, wrong, or unfair the person or circumstance was that necessitated the assertion of a boundary in the first place. In order to break this pattern, I therefore had to sit with the discomfort and expand my nervous system capacity to experience it, so that I could finally own my personal responsibility to directly and forthrightly state my wants and needs without offloading that responsibility to the moral failings of others or the world. (The work is ongoing).
I have talked a lot about this issue with my husband, who is Canadian, and he has a slightly darker explanation of this phenomenon (note that passive aggression and refusal to directly state what you actually want or mean are ways of life in Canada, consequent of the cultural imperative to always appear “good” in the eyes of others). He thinks that people actually take forepleasure in the imposition of norms and morality upon others through what we have come to call the “social concourse.” I agree that is indeed an essential part of how what Nietzsche called “slave morality” functions; however, I just think my insight is more helpful for those on the journey of self-reclamation.
I absolutely love hearing about your healing journey. Thank you for sharing your insights to the benefit of everyone reading here 💓 I can relate to what you're saying about becoming mindful of self-disempowerment in order to develop healthier boundaries. It's a common issue so there's no shame in having it, and conversations like these are how we can all heal together ✨️
I did this once, lasted three weeks. The elderly ladies broke my heart after twenty minutes of a five minute survey- starved for a human voice. I'd have to hang up on them under the impatient scowl of my manager who got paid $10 more than us lowly phone jockeys.
I'm so sorry. I feel you on that. The elderly respondents are usually more enthused about participating, and I CONSTANTLY go against the "verbatim" rule to chat with them. I've been written up a few times, but 🤷🏽♀️
Echoing the comment of other - well done.
It points to so many Microcosmic conditionings, we've been taught generationally, that self assemble like LNPs, to create the controlled Macrocosm.
Once you teach Pavlov's dogs to salivate to a bell, you can teach them to sniff out bombs or run into a burning building.
We are just the dumber, two legged versions of them.
I personally broke the obligatory mold of answering calls, about 10 years ago. I stopped answering numbers, that weren't saved and tagged with a name. Likewise for door bells and knocks. 9.99 times out of 10, it is soliciting. I will look out the window, incase it's a neighbor, but the ones I care to interact with, will text - so there's that.
Last thoughts, surveys are an archaic carry over and I put little stock in them. They are skewed from the outset, for the reasons you mention. Lets say of the 5K eligible patients you can survey, only 100 stay on the line - that is a horribly inaccurate ratio to base any changes or actions on, as an organization or consumer. I have always thought, why wouldn't you do the survey during the process - periodically - or prior to discharge. Aside from having the patient right there, it would convey a sense that the hospital truly cared about their welfare and opinions. Instead of a third party caller, weeks later, when you have already moved past the episode/experience. Buy in from the patients would be exponentially increased, in situ.
AI will sweep all info/service sectors, that are human labor intensive. That goes for TV, radio, call centers, etc.
We have already seen a large takeover - although it was incrementally and craftily done - self serve kiosks (think malls, airports, government agencies, etc.).
Who wouldn't gleefully use a DMV Kiosk vs long stints of chair surfing and face to face time, with a disgruntled DMV worker??
Of course it's a double edged sword - as AI, will eventually make us all redundant.
Happy birthday and best of luck with the album!!
Yes absolutely, there are many "microcosmic conditionings" -- the conditioning to have an opinion on EVERY sensational news story, the conditioning to get emotionally invested in EVERY social media post one sees when scrolling, the conditioning to line up for every new vaccine and buy every new gadget and, and, and...
It all culminates in a generalized sense of being pulled at from many directions, easily swayed and perpetually miserable because they're exerting no influence over themselves whatsoever, thus making themselves vulnerable to being marionetted by the entire world.
I so love and appreciate how you can discern a trend that would fly under the radar for most folks and casually transform it into a valuable moment of contemplation. Thank you! 💕
haha, and here I was thinking that this might be too mundane of a thought to share. Thank YOU for appreciating my Rahuvian observations 🙃
🙃
I enjoyed 'this rant' because it's made me feel better about not answering the phone, which I do a lot: eg. if the number shows it's not a number saved, with a name against it, I don't answer it period! If they go on to text me revealing something about themselves which I can identify with I will then choose to reciprocate, or not. You're right; choice is a 'thing' we need to employ more of, thank you and YAH bless <3
I can assure you, you're not missing ANYTHING of value by not answering calls from unknown numbers 🤣 Good "call" on your part 😉
Ditto! I never answer a call I do not recognize?! And block any I do not want to hear from. Every day is the Lord’s Day, so God Bless everyone, I’m safeguarding my peace & others’! 🕊️✨🦋
"Everyday is the Lord's Day" ~ I love this so much 💓
Forgot to say, Happy Birthday!! And congrats on the upcoming new album!!!
Thank you!!
“I’m watching the game!!!”🤣😂(And can you please pass the chips?!) 😆 Love your take on all this, Alicen. What an intriguing glimpse into the public zeitgeist!